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Don’t Pity Me, Fool

                                     I'll pass on the pity.

I’ll pass on the pity.

At this very moment, there’s a voicemail on my phone that I haven’t heard. I know who it’s from and have been hoping the message and its owner will disappear if I continue to ignore them. Why? Because the person who called thrives on doling out pity and I am not here for it.

For the record, this isn’t the average pity. It is of the Incredible Hulk variety, complete with bulging, green muscles and an uncontrollable nature that when unleashed, freely tramples innocent bystanders. In other words, he takes no pity on those he overwhelms with pity.

A conversation with him goes something like this:

Him: “Hey stranger, how have you been?”

Me: “Hey there, I’m good. You?”

Him: “I’m doing great! You sure you’re OK? You sound kinda down.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m fine. Just feeling a little under the weather.”

Him: “Oh nooooo!!! That’s AWFUL! I hate to hear that! Are you sure you’re gonna be OK? If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know. I feel SO bad for you.”

Me: *Silence* Continue reading

Feet, Thou Art Loosed

My feet, buried in the sand:-)

My feet, buried in the sand:-)

Recently, I talked with a 26-year-old woman who didn’t wear sandals until she was 22 because she was embarrassed by her feet, in particular the shape of her big toe.  Thinking about how her hang-up might impact her son who inherited the same unique big toe, she finally shoved an uncovered foot up the butt of her insecurity and wore shoes that exposed her feet.

She didn’t know it, but I was right there with her, battling the constant shame I have of my ugly toes.

For a long time, I refused to show my feet. I would scan the Avon magazines left lying around the office, admiring the models’ flawless, dainty toes. Talking with friends invariably leads to a discussion on physical hang-ups, so I know of quite a few people who say they’d jump at the chance at cosmetic surgery. Mostly everyone mentions nose jobs, boob jobs and tummy tucks, while I keep my desire for a toe replacement to myself. (Is that even an option?) Continue reading