Category Archives: Women Supporting Women

10 Questions Tag

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My blogger friend Drea from The Drea Daily was kind enough to nominate me to participate in the 10 Questions Tag, which gives me the chance to answer 10 random questions she posed. I’m super excited that she tagged me because it’s a fun and quick way to discover a little more about bloggers outside of normal posts and to give other bloggers a little shine.

Here are my responses to Drea’s questions below:

1.  Favorite TV series?

A Different World. Pretty much any episode of that show can boost my mood. I’ve been known to walk around my house wailing at the top of my lungs, trying to emulate the operatic singing in this clip that begins at 2:43:

2.  Least favorite aspect of blogging?
I suppose what I enjoy least about it applies to writing in general and that is the process of creating. I’m SUPER slow at writing my posts. Sometimes I’ll start an idea and before I know it’s 2 am and I’m nowhere near finished.

3.  Favorite phone app?

It’s not necessarily my favorite, but Twitter is the one I use most. My smartphone is so underutilized.

4. Your worst/most embarrassing habit?

Allowing my anxiety to consume me.
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My First #AskAwayFriday with Mrs. Tee of LoveLifeLaughter

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OK, so I promise myself and the world that now that I’m freelancing full-time, I will dedicate as much time to my blog as I do to the rough and tumble world of pitching and networking and finding people who wanna pay me to write and edit stuff. So with that, here’s my attempt to dedicate myself (again) to routine posts.

#AskAwayFriday! I met Mrs. Tee of  LoveLifeLaughter through a #SITSSharefest on Twitter and I thought participating in this exchange with an established blogger could help me familiarize myself with how things go in this here blogging world. I’m trying to get my feet wet and put myself out there in a way I’ve been afraid to do so far. But bloggers like Mrs. Tee give me hope and encouragement! She’s an AWESOME blogger who’s found great success in a short period of time. Reading through her blog, I learned about her family, her interests and that we have a lot in common! Her dedication to blogging despite a HUGE (and lovely) family shows me that it’s possible to do something you love and be really good at it if you stay disciplined and dedicated!

 

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She asked me some off-the-cuff questions that had me LOL’ing, which I tend to do a lot. Check them out, along with my responses below:

 1. What is your favorite hot day lunch? Sandwich, Salad or Smoothie?

Um, when I say I’m a HUGE eater…none of these would cut it for me LOL! But if I had to choose, I’d go with a sandwich.

2. Are you sarcastic or straight forward?

I’m sarcastic, but not in a jerky kinda way. I can be straight forward depending on my mood and the subject. I really loathe when I ask someone a question and they beat around the bush. In that situation, yes I’m straightforward. And I frequently sprinkle my writing with sarcasm.

3. Has either you sarcasm or bluntness ever gotten you in trouble?

In person, it has been known to piss off my husband, but that’s mostly when he doesn’t get it, which unfortunately happened when we first met. Now, I know better. I try to get to know the person before unleashing my sarcasm.  I’m wondering what you read on my site that makes you ask me this…LOL.

4. Shoes tied or untied when you take them off?

OMG, I used to be so concerned about this! But I don’t have time, so I kick ‘em off without even thinking…Come to think of, where are my shoes…

5. How many keychains do you have?

I have a few that I collected from traveling,  but I don’t really use them. I had a friend in high school whose keychain was so ridiculous and loud and that changed my entire outlook on keychains haha…

6. On a hot day do you still drink hot (coffee or tea) or only cold (shakes water iced tea/coffee)?

Well, I will but if you’ve experienced any form of Texas heat (which can strike at a moment’s notice, even if it snowed yesterday), you will run for the first cold beverage. So typically I gulp down anything that’s cold and stay away from stuff that makes me sweat even more than the sweltering heat and humidity.

7. Do you prefer poolside or sitting in the sand?

Without a doubt, the SAND!!! I was just on the beach in the Dominican Republic a few weeks ago. Ahhh, how I miss the sound of the ocean waves…I’m convinced that in a former life,  I was a beach bum. I’m trying to get back there, but the whole bum thing isn’t working out that well for me…I got bills, ya know.

 

On the beach in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic

On the beach in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic

8. What did you eat so far today?

Uhhh, *hides face* See, what had happened was…Let’s just say it wasn’t healthy lol.

9.  What’s is the last song you heard?

I’m not ashamed (well, just a little bit) to say it was New Edition’s “If It Isn’t Love.” I had a lot of writing to do today, and for some reason old R & B sparks my creativity.

10.  I am in love with your story of finding your ‘niche’. What advice would you give to someone else searching for their place?

Whew, I feel like a hypocrite answering this because I still don’t feel like I know my place. I’m still trying to find my way. So far, that’s involved trusting my gut, which is a bit of a struggle for me. But yeah, that’s my answer and I’m sticking to it. Do what feels right for you. Do what you would do if no one else was watching.

 

 

 

Motivated by Shame pt. 1

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Although life taught me early on that procrastination could lead to unfavorable results, the lessons of the past still haven’t kept me from dashing out of my front door with 10 minutes to get to work on time, hairbrush in one hand, breakfast in the other.  It seems that no man, woman, or child can curb my relentless addiction to waiting until the last possible minute to handle my business.  But one dirty little motivator always manages to get me back on track when I least expect it. ‘Tis true that I can be motivated by shame.

Exhibit A (as if anyone needs convincing): My 11th grade government teacher. Mrs. B**** tasked us with creating a presidential campaign slogan and including it on design for a pin. My slogan was a creative play on my first name, but my design left a LOT to be desired. I knew this heading into class that day, as I had struggled to complete the assignment out of sheer laziness and oh–here’s that word again–procrastination. I sheepishly handed in my paper and eased into my seat, prepared for a lecture, but what Mrs. B had in store for me would stick with me for life. Continue reading

Never Have I Ever…

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During a recent episode of VH1′s “Hollywood Exes,”  I watched the group of glamorous celebs’ ex-wives engage in a few rounds of a good ol’ drinking game called “Never Have I Ever,” in which one person names an activity they’ve never participated in, while the persons who have indulged in that particular activity are required to take a shot. Their activities of choice mostly involved experimenting with drugs and various sexual exploits, but it got me thinking about the people I’ve spoken to and some of the things I’ve heard people say they’ve never done or experienced.

The first person who came to mind was my grandma. I’m pretty sure she’s bypassed all the stuff these ladies copped to, but in addition to that, she also never learned to drive. Then, there’s my sister-in-law, a 41-year-old wife and mother who hasn’t had so much as a sip of alcohol. As someone who has gone through somewhat of a wino phase, I admire her ability to bypass the booze. I doubt she’ll break down and have a sip of the sauce anytime soon, but I try to keep my camera handy just in case she does.

One time I was discussing my travel plans with a co-worker, she told me she’d never been to the beach. I gasped because even though the nearest beach from my home is about 300 miles away,  I refuse to allow distance to keep me away from my beloved ocean waves. In my co-worker’s case, the sucky part is that she’s visited California a couple times, L.A. in fact. But circumstances beyond her control prevented her from sticking her feet in the sand. Therefore, I’ve started a one-woman campaign to get her to take a trip to the beach sooner than later. Continue reading

Feet, Thou Art Loosed

My feet, buried in the sand:-)

My feet, buried in the sand:-)

Recently, I talked with a 26-year-old woman who didn’t wear sandals until she was 22 because she was embarrassed by her feet, in particular the shape of her big toe.  Thinking about how her hang-up might impact her son who inherited the same unique big toe, she finally shoved an uncovered foot up the butt of her insecurity and wore shoes that exposed her feet.

She didn’t know it, but I was right there with her, battling the constant shame I have of my ugly toes.

For a long time, I refused to show my feet. I would scan the Avon magazines left lying around the office, admiring the models’ flawless, dainty toes. Talking with friends invariably leads to a discussion on physical hang-ups, so I know of quite a few people who say they’d jump at the chance at cosmetic surgery. Mostly everyone mentions nose jobs, boob jobs and tummy tucks, while I keep my desire for a toe replacement to myself. (Is that even an option?) Continue reading

Burpees or Babies?

During a short MegaBus commute between Dallas and Austin today, I listened to a baby’s throaty, gurgling laughter and thought ‘Awww, how cute!’–until an hour and a half (and several frayed nerves) later passed and she was still guffawing. Oh, the joys of babyhood, a time in life in which one finds humor in a freezing cold double-decker bus instead of sharing my annoyance with the lady behind me for mindlessly breaking the silence by screaming into her cell phone in Spanish.

As both the baby and the loud-mouthed lady continued to blabber, I recalled running around the block with my trainer early this morning as we approached a park filled with the sound of excited children.

“Kids,” she muttered, “they scare me.” At the moment, I was trying hard to convince myself that the cramp in my side wasn’t a burst appendix, so all I managed was a breathy, “Yeah.”

Translation: The thought of having kids scares me more than any horror film ever could, for a number of reasons:

What about life?

Work + Marriage + Side Hustle + Friends + Family + Personal Interests + Sleep + Endless List of Other Important Stuff = Where the hail am I supposed to fit a kid in this equation? The answer must be linked to one of those imaginary numbers I heard about in algebra class.

What about what pregnancy/childbirth does to a woman’s bawdy, specifically those who are 30 and up?

Before someone else mentions it, I know Halle Berry just did it (again), but so what?!? Yeah she’s 40+, but she’s been physical perfection for quite some time. I’ve just now become dedicated enough to regular exercising to develop some visible muscle definition and get through several 30-second sets of nonstop burpees without seeing spots. Vain as it is, I’m afraid that if I have a kid, my not-so-youthful body won’t soon recover from the trauma of giving birth. Continue reading

She Pulverized Me: My First Grade Teacher

My elementary school memories mostly consist of dense fog, but there’s nothing like a favorite teacher to penetrate the clouds and shine light on the past.

Enter Mrs. Brooks, my awesome yet fear-inducing first grade teacher. A tiny, sharply dressed woman of about 50, she frequently peered over her glasses to issue mean stare-downs and threats. Her powerhouse tendencies kept students and colleagues in line.   My mom credits her for arguing my case against the stubborn principal, who initially refused to skip me up to her first grade class.  Thanks to her efforts, I only spent two weeks in kindergarten.

She had an unrivaled passion for education and ran an unbelievably structured class. One day while reviewing a set of math problems for an upcoming test, her eyes narrowed as she zeroed in on her target of the moment: class troublemaker, Terrance. Oblivious to the impending doom, he feverishly chatted with his neighbor.

“Terrance if you don’t stop talking I will pulverize you!” she roared.

That got everyone’s undivided attention. Holding the gaze of a now-shivering Terrance, in one hand she wielded ”Brown Sugah” the long, masking tape-wrapped yard stick we would all come to fear. She waved it about, asking who knew the meaning of that awful sounding word. We gave her a collective blank stare, but we left class knowing the definition, the spelling and how to use it in a sentence.

I went home that day repeating both words over and over, allowing their significance to sink into my 5-year-old brain. Soon, I connected the dots: I’d better not procrastinate on my studying because if I got a bad grade, Mrs. Brooks would pulverize me. 1 +1 =2. Simple enough. Continue reading

Falling Out of Fear

For quite some time now, Fear has successfully convinced me that I can’t and I shouldn’t, therefore I didn’t and I wouldn’t…until recently, when I decided that he had dealt the absolute last blow to my self-esteem. After years of putting up with Fear manipulating me, embarrassing me in front of my friends and family, relentlessly criticizing me and starting pointless arguments right before I meet my girls for drinks, I decided the only way was out.

There was no going back after this, so I packed my shit (again) and prepared to go out with a bang.
Much like the other fights we’d had over the years, I cursed and damned him to hell loud enough for the neighbors to hear, threw stuff and threatened to burn the place to a crisp.
“This is it!” I yelled. My wild eyes narrowed as the suppressed madwoman inside me clawed her way to the surface. “Don’t call me, don’t come looking for me at my mama’s house or my job and if you see me in the streets, I suggest you cross to the other side.”
That said, one enraged sweep of my arm cleared a nearby dresser of its contents. Cologne bottles and picture frames clinked and crackled loudly, breaking beneath the pressure of my angry steps. I slammed his door and kicked it as a final expression of utter disdain.
A few months passed and I was becoming accustomed to the idea of living without Fear.  This undoubtedly left me feeling raw and exposed, like a freshly peeled potato. I cautiously approached the idea of going it alone, living life in a Fear-less manner. Little by little, I allowed my mind to tip-toe towards that possibility, carefully spoon-feeding it positive imagery and promises of a life fulfilled.
Just as my optimistic mindset began to blossom, Fear showed back up dressed in his signature style, smelling of his favorite cologne. It was the same scent I stomped on during my grand finale exit. When I noticed the smell clinging to my shoes, I’d tossed them in the trash.

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Write For My Life

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Recently I joined writer and editor Britni Danielle‘s “The Write Pitch” seminar, an online class of sorts where she produces weekly videos designed to help writers break into freelancing. The first session focused on why one wants to pursue writing as an occupation.

The three questions that prompted serious consideration were:

1. What do you hope to gain by becoming a professional writer?

2. Describe your ideal life and how writing fits in it.

3. Are you prepared to go into business for yourself?

In thinking about my answers, I dug deep and came out feeling quite certain about my goal of becoming a professional writer. I truly appreciate her for posing these questions because examining the meaning behind one’s actions can sometimes shift perspective and reveal things that may not always be evident. Nevertheless, I’ve always been quite sure that writing is my calling.  I’ve kept a journal since I was a 9-year-old, babbling about my crush or documenting the daily happenings on the bus ride to school.

Today, I am a married woman in search of personal, spiritual and emotional freedom and fulfillment. But inside, that 9-year-old lingers, waiting on me to re-commit to her craft and document my life experiences so others may learn from my ups, downs, joys, mistakes and successes. Thinking about why I want to write was very enlightening and prompted me to create this post. Below are my responses:

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