At this very moment, there’s a voicemail on my phone that I haven’t heard. I know who it’s from and have been hoping the message and its owner will disappear if I continue to ignore them. Why? Because the person who called thrives on doling out pity and I am not here for it.
For the record, this isn’t the average pity. It is of the Incredible Hulk variety, complete with bulging, green muscles and an uncontrollable nature that when unleashed, freely tramples innocent bystanders. In other words, he takes no pity on those he overwhelms with pity.
A conversation with him goes something like this:
Him: “Hey stranger, how have you been?”
Me: “Hey there, I’m good. You?”
Him: “I’m doing great! You sure you’re OK? You sound kinda down.”
Me: “Yeah, I’m fine. Just feeling a little under the weather.”
Him: “Oh nooooo!!! That’s AWFUL! I hate to hear that! Are you sure you’re gonna be OK? If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know. I feel SO bad for you.”
Me: *Silence* Continue reading